On my 60th birthday and on the stroke of midday…and there were clocks striking all around me…I strode into the Grand Hotel in Stockholm and ordered myself a pot of coffee to drink in the foyer while awaiting the departure of Waxholm I for Ljusterö at 1300 hours. The coffee was much too strong and I take care to avoid attending concerts or walking around town with a full bladder so I drank just two of the four cups in my silver coffee pot before paying thirty one crowns...exchange rate 13.4 to the pound…and strolling across the street at 1250 hours to my waiting Water Taxi. I left no bank notes in my wake to gladden the hearts of swooping waiters. It did not escape my notice that the Grand Hotel has a policy of waiters and not waitresses in their foyer. I wonder why?

Two months ago I congratulated the China Chapter of International PEN on their campaign to stop the persecution of bloggers in China. A little notice in an inside page of the Financial Times mentioned rejoicing after Hao Wu, the Chinese filmmaker and author of the Beijing or Bust blog went free after being held in jail for 140 days without charge. Rebecca MacKinnon of Harvard’s Global Voices blog has been campaigning for his release. Good on Ya Becky! The media should keep their distance. Here is a Beijing or Bust blogpost from earlier this year.

‘Recently I had a huge argument with my mother. The unreasonable requests from her were so obviously morally wrong and I shouldn’t even have to explain my stand. Instead I kept on calling her back apologizing for my behavior and comforting her. What could I have done? She’s my mother. This made me think about censorship in China. The comments from Chinese readers to my previous post Do I Have to Take A Stand? mainly expressed annoyance and incomprehension at the West’s criticism of China. So did most of the Chinese bloggers I’ve read thus far.

I sensed the existence of a defensive argument from my compatriots - This is our family business; leave us alone! That’s the same argument I used with my ex…an American advocating Tibetan rights and preaching all the other liberal media’s criticisms of China. I explained that the Chinese are very defensive about these criticisms because in our modern history we’d been repeatedly humiliated by Western Colonial Powers; in addition, we Chinese believe in A son doesn’t complain about his mother’s plain looks, and a mother doesn’t pick on a son’s destitution.

My own advice to American Bleeding Hearts in Nepal and Tibet would be to stop imposing yourselves upon the long-suffering local peoples just because it’s fun hanging out in the Himalayas...and feels good saving victims to boost your own low self-esteem. I loved the few weeks I spent in Kashmir in the early summer of 1974. Your energy and concern is desperately needed back home in the United States of America. In terms of civil liberties and freedom of thought the USA is higher up on Noam Chomsky’s list of Failed States than China. But those ignorant of their own ignorance are hard work. A wise man can learn from a fool but not the other way about.

It is hard to know how to deal with tipping at the best of times. There are those of my acquaintance who avoid the better establishments because of their fear of the withering glance and the dismissive shrug. Not even Basil Fawlty can cure them of their fear of posh places. I explain that they will never set eyes on these people again and that the glancee is worth quite a few of the glancers. But to no avail. However I have had the occasional success with my policy approach which is what gives me the confidence to be qualm-free in such situations.

One can have a policy for anything. Indeed if you are wise you will have policies for most things. A policy is a set of general rules to apply to particular circumstances. Its value is enormous. Instead of working out what to do you make a straight choice whether to apply the policy or not. It can cut down the energy and anguish by ninety percent. My Drinking Policy is not to until the sun goes beneath the yardarm. My Tipping Policy is not before seven in the evening and a carefully calculated ten percent from then on. I waive the policy for exceptional service…good or bad…and when I wish to avoid talking about it and prefer to do the done thing whatever that might happen to be.

Charity is the job of the rich. Solidarity is the way of the poor. Today I am poor. Tomorrow I will be rich. Of course waiters are poor and depend on tips to make a living wage. Let them rely upon the largesse from their rich clientele. My drop in the ocean will not improve their prospects. Besides unless you know a hotel's Waging and Tipping Policy you cannot take an informed position. But this tithe of mine does not necessarily get spent inside the establishment. It is as likely to go to the lad selling the Big Issue ten yards down the street.

Anyway it was my Best Deal Policy and not my Tipping Policy that was in force at the Grand Hotel…after application of my Selecting Appropriate Policy policy. My reason for taking coffee at the Grand Hotel was because it is the cheapest place when Operant Conditions are taken into account. The better class of Hotels and Coffee Houses provide customers with copies of the Daily Newspaper. The very best take a pride in their piles of crisp unopened copies of New York’s Herald Tribune and London’s Financial Times. Either of these would set me back the price of a pot of coffee. But in fifty minutes I can make my way through both publications.