At seven o’clock yesterday evening I listened to the 15 000th episode of The Archers which first began broadcasting 57 years ago on New Year’s Day 1951 and is the longest running soap opera in the world. The day was not marked by a crowd-pleasing celebrity appearance…such as the visit by Princess Margaret in 1984 to celebrate the Borchester NSPCC Gala Dinner…but by something altogether more seismic. Would Ruth Archer finally consummate her potentially adulterous relationship with herdsman Sam Barton? There has not been so much simulated media tension since someone shot JR in Dallas. I can now tell you that Ruth has backed off…although a twist in the tail is possible.

The affair has caused much heart-searching among listeners with many claiming that the protagonists are being made to act in uncharacteristic ways and that the script has been sexed-up. But not everyone agrees. Listening to Ruth and Sam thrash out their dilemma over the past few weeks has been no different from overhearing a BBC producer and a Westminster PPS discuss their adulterous affair. The talk is all of personal happiness, self-esteem and a fresh start. The shock this will give to children, husband or extended family hardly counts against the reality of How I Feel.

Unfortunately The Archers is not East Enders or Friends or just any soap opera. The ‘everyday story of country folk’ taps into our romance with the countryside which in our soft-focused vision is inhabited by the virtuous descendants of Olde England. The rural moral code is infinitely superior to the urban one. Villages are mutually helpful communities where people share sterling values and never shy away from their duties. And vice stops at the M25.

Vanessa Whitburn…editor of The Archers…has appeared several times on BBC Radio 4 in recent days. She has not got to where she is by being too candid with her public. But in defending her scriptwriters Vanessa seems to take the view that The Archers should strive for realism. Mythical worlds played out against a background of real-life farming concerns can be taken too far. In reality the shenanigans of the metropolitan middle classes have nothing on the frisky rural hicks whose pastimes include drinking to excess, gambling away fortunes and stealing one another’s wives.

The Archers has always been an everyday story of the kind of countryfolk who have affairs straight out of Lady Chatterley’s Lover…as in Christine Archer falling for the alcoholic gamekeeper George Barford…or Footballers’ Wives…as with Jack Woolley’s first wife having affairs with the husbands of future stepdaughters Jennifer and Lillian. Here are some more.

Middle-aged publican Sid had adulterous sex in the shower; Ambridge’s token Gay Couple fell into each other’s arms in a polytunnel; a plane crashed into Dan Archer’s 5-acre field; Shula Archer lost her virginity to a journalist from the Barchester Echo; Tom Forrest was in the dock for shooting Clarrie Grundy’s poacher uncle Bob Larkin; unmarried Jennifer Archer had a baby…by another cowhand; Mrs Perkins’ nephew Bill was beaten to death outside The Bull…and the vicar had an affair with a Hindu parishioner.

So The Archers has always been racy, sometimes improbable but never dull…until now. Some of the dullest scenes in the programme’s history have been created about Ruth and Sam’s love in the cowshed. Internet message boards have been flooded. Here are some examples.

‘This is getting somewhat unbelievable. I’m getting very bored with this storyline.’
‘I feel bilious every time I hear Sam and Ruth kissing.
Are we expected to believe that Ruth will disappear into the sunset with Sam?’
‘This sordid little liaison is making me feel dirty already. It is a mere excuse for the ghastly cowman to get his wellie-booted leg over.’
‘I was almost physically sick after last night’s episode. I really can’t cope with any more slurping. Have mercy I sometimes listen during the evening meal.’
‘Are we really supposed to believe in Ruth’s passion for dour boring cowman Sam?’

The real scandal at The Archers is not the potential nookie between a member of Ambridge’s ruling family and a hired hand who thinks her name is Roof…the class and puritanical overtones in the internet postings would have amused D.H. Lawrence…but the fact that it had been so tedious drawing it out until yesterday’s 15 000th anniversary edition. Most diehard fans are sick to death…not to mention embarrassed…by the amateurish production of episodes consisting entirely of ‘Aww Sam! And ‘Oohh Roof!’…with background mooing from a compliant herd of cows.